What do I do about Passover this year?
Hello Community,
This week I want to share some thoughts and strategies related to navigating complexities that arise surrounding Passover this year.
For my non-Jewish readers, I invite you to think about how this framework can be applicable in similar situations for you as well (and actually, I extend this invitation to you regarding all my content that is Jewish-focused 🙏).
A message I am hearing a lot as Passover approaches is that many Jewish folks are feeling uncomfortable about attending their family’s seder this year.
They are noting concerns about
Possibly being the only one there who is non/anti zionist (or struggling to figure it out)
Reading the Haggadah (which may be a text that has become very special in their family) and finding content that contributes to the erasure of Palestine.
Feeling conflicted about centering an ancient Jewish liberation story while feeling silenced to speak about the suffering of the Palestinian people at the hands of the Israeli government.
This is creating significant internal conflict for many people who are now feeling isolated and confused about what to do.
“Should I go and take a stand?”
“Should I go and quietly add in facts about Palestine?”
“Should I not go at all?”
“Are there any community Seders, for folks grappling with zionism, that are able to hold the complexity of Jewish trauma and the trauma that is currently being committed in our names?”
The truth is that the answers to these questions are deeply personal and relate to you and your specific family.
So, I want to offer a framework for thinking through your options in support of making what may be a very difficult decision.
Make a list of your options (you can use what I wrote above and/or customize your own)
Think about your family members: will there be anyone else there who can relate to your position?
Consider your emotional wellbeing and capacity. What family dynamics will be at play?
Consider what your goal is (e.g. I want to go and provide education; I want to go and silently hold space for Palestine; I need to preserve my emotional wellbeing; etc)
Reach out and talk with someone about what you are thinking– a friend, family member, or me 🙂
Consider resources that you will need depending on your choice, e.g:
I want to bring something symbolic of Palestine– what could that be?
I need someone to debrief with after Seder.
I need to research alternative Haggadah texts and local/online community Seders that align with my values.
If I choose not to go, how do I communicate this and what support do I need?
Also, please be gentle with yourself.
If you are experiencing distress about this, it's because it is distressing. Try to observe any internal voices that may put you down or shame you about how you are thinking or feeling and use the strategies I talk about in this blog to address them.
And, as mentioned above, reach out for support. I always recommend people in your circles first but please also know that my Jewish Identity Support sessions are a good container to process this.
In solidarity,
Dr. Rebecca Cohen
